2003-07-10T06:35:00.000-07:00

Vanity, thy name is Ren.

I present 100 things about me (finally completed April 2004 & edited again in 2007):

1. I hate when people make plans with me, then instead of calling to break the plans, they go into hiding.
2. I have a quasi-lazy eye. It makes its appearance in important photographs.
3. I love children more than I let on.
4. I'm fuckin' lazy, but I'm all about the physical activity.
5. I wish I didn't drink quite so much beer.
6. Driving fast is underrated.
7. I would die without my cell phone.
8. though, the amount I use that cell phone, it will probably be the cause of my death.
9. I swear too much for my own liking.
10. I'm fiercely loyal to my friends and expect the same of them.
11. I only have one knee cap.
12. 10 12 tattoos and countin'!
13. ~~I am a corporate whore who is up to her shins in debt.~~ Quit my job to become a full time photographer.
14. Since the age of 25, I have had a mortgage.
15. Thinking about my mortgage makes me queasy.
16. I worry about money constantly. Even when I have it.
17. I'm terrified of breaking my elbow.
18. I've broken my nose 2x and got a great lecture from my doctor the second time about me being a battered girlfriend. When I explained that I got it from horsing around with a friend, he called me a 'tough guy' and refused to write a prescription for pain killers.
19. I've broken a couple of ribs, but totally denied it at the time.
20. I'm not a morning person, but I live to row in the mornings.
21. Itchy and Scratchy cartoons make me laugh until I can't breathe.
22. I have 3 cats, and I'm not ashamed to say I've got a favourite.
23. Being touched by strangers freaks me out.
24. I cry during those Bell Christmas adverts (that they never show anymore)
25. The song "Mister Bojangles" also makes me cry.
26. So does that "have yourself a merry little Christmas" song.
27. thinking about those 2 songs right now is choking me up
28. I only grow my hair out to insane proportions to piss off other people
29. I can't handle compliments.
30. But I'm great at giving compliments
31. I get tired easily when I'm stressed.
32. I don't cry enough
33. though "the drugs don't work" by the Verve, does choke me up something fierce.
34. I need to watch more cartoons
35. I need to draw more cartoons
36. I have actually dated more than one cheerleader. I didn't know they were cheerleaders. Honest.
37. To clarify the above, by the time I dated them, they were former cheerleaders.
38. I used to be able to drink an entire bottle of Amaretto on my own when I was younger (and obviously fuckin' stupid).
39. the thought of that makes me want to hurl
40. my university degree used to hang in the spare bathroom of my old condo
41. The cats owned the spare bathroom
42. I majored in English, but have more than 9 12 years of experience in the financial/insurance industries.
43. I have 0 years of experience in anything related to having a major in English
44. I suspect that having a degree in "ice cream making" may have been better.
45. I miss being a smoker, but I'll never take it up again.
46. I started smoking to stunt my growth.
47. I'm half an inch under being 6 feet tall
48. I detest conflict.
49. Especially when it doesn't involve me directly.
50. I dwell on stuff for waaaay too long
51. But I don't hold grudges.
52. I have no regrets.
53. I'm lactose intolerant
54. but I lurve cheese.
55. I almost became a nun
56. Well, not almost, but I did think about it.
57. Even after that priest told me I was going to go to hell
58. Religion fascinates me
59. I keep debating returning to the church.
60. Though I think the church still has me on the 'deviant' list.
61. Taco Bell cures my migraines
62. I hate being stared at.
63. When I'm nervous, I play with my earrings
64. I absent mindedly rub my tummy
65. "Eleanor Rigby" is my favourite Beatles song, bar none.
66. I'm horrible at returning phone calls, yet I get pissy when people don't call me back right away.
67. I fall for straight girls
68. number 68 brings me more heartache than I'm willing to admit to.
69. I fall for gay guys.
70. Sleep deprivation makes me weepy.
71. And prone to saying stupid things.
72. Very stupid things.
73. I can't remember what number 68 was.
74. I have almost no short term memory.
75. But I have crazy amazing long term memory.
76. I wish I did more in life.
77. Though I can now add speed dating to the dumb arsed things I have done in life.
78. Never managed to learn bass guitar before I turned 30.
79. I ran out of time for number 78.
80. ~~I think I'm in the wrong career.~~ NOT ANY MORE! woo hoo!
81. ~~I think I'll always be in the wrong line of business~~ ...PSYCHE. I'm a photographer now, bitches!
82. One word: Plastics
83. Porn makes me giggle. A lot.
84. So does phone sex.
85. Hell, nekkid people make me giggle.
86. I'm terrified of having my heart broken
87. Yet I'm the last of the die-hard romantics
88. I don't deal well with tragedies
89. I like crap music
90. I've almost died 3 times
91. I'm no longer freaked out by number 90
92. I really want to live in England
93. For the first time ever, I can say that I'm definitely in love
94. Number 93 terrifies me.
95. I'm finally becoming comfortable in my skin
96. Contrary to popular belief, I like being domestic
97. I make an awesome salmon dinner
98. I still don't get enough sleep
99. I want to buy a house before my 34th birthday . [Done by age 30! ]
100. As Tracy Ullman would say "it's over! Go home! Go home!"

100 Flaming Monkey Pants